You just made me feel so damn special
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
