I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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