A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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