I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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