please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
