I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
