it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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