I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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