sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
