Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we made out on top of his cat.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
