I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
