he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
