At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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