Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize