Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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