Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
