I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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