if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
