that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
