drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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