I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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