Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
