in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The uberlube is also flammable
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
