I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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