God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
