I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
