i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
