Michael Bay diarrhea
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
