It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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