I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
