not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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