My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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