smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
