So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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