but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
