why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
