I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
