I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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