I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
