ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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