I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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