I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
