oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
