Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
