I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
