why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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