I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
