did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
