My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Betty ford says i'm here all night
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
