Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Pants are for mortals
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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