Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
