Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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